Queen Victoria has a historical reputation of being a prude. The era that carries her name in the United Kingdom is famous for being deeply repressed. But when Victoria was young she loved music and dancing. She actually put off marrying Albert because she was enjoying her chance to party.
So what happened?
When Victoria came to the throne, the U.K. monarchy was in real trouble. Her uncles, the five sons of George III, were a serious scandal factory. Marital, sexual, monetary, you name it, these “royal dukes” got accused of just about everything.
But these were not just scandals. There were real crimes committed, and when Victoria inherited the throne her primary job was to clean up the royals’ badly tarnished reputation.
So, what were these crimes royale? We have a top five.
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5: Criminal Conversation
“Crim. Con.” was a fancy euphemism for adultery. It didn’t officially become a crime unless one of the married people (the husband), sued the offending party (the other man). Except you don’t tend to sue when the other man is the heir to the throne and has also just given you a job and a title.
George, Prince of Wales (a.k.a “Prinny”) had a real taste for married women, and was not above paying to keep their husbands quiet. For instance, Frances Villier’s husband got the job of Master of Horse in his household, while Elizabeth Coyningham’s husband became a marquis, and member of the privy council.
This was very bad, and very scandalous but not quite out and out….
4: Illegal Marriage
The Royal Marriages Act was supposed to keep future kings and queens of England from marrying people who might start wars, give the U.K. over to foreign powers, or be Catholic. Yes, that was part of the law.
Officially Protestant England was determined to remain Protestant. So, anybody in line for the throne who married a Catholic forfeited their place for themselves and their descendants. According to the law, the monarch had the final say in any royal betrothal.
When George III went mad and couldn’t approve anybody’s marriage to anybody, it caused a separate set of problems, mainly for his six daughters. They, unlike their brothers, couldn’t take just take lovers. Although at least one of them managed, as we’ll hear about later.
It was fully expected that Prinny, and his brothers, would sleep around. That they also fathered a lot of children out of wedlock (up to fifty that we know about), was not great, but it was not so very out of the ordinary.
The real problem came when Prinny fell head over heels in love with a twice-widowed Catholic woman named Maria Fitzherbert, and married her in a secret ceremony. That made the marriage unapproved, and to a Catholic. If it came out, he would have to forfeit his place in line for the throne.
And it did come out. There were whispers, and there were denials, and it all led directly to Prinny’s…
3: Bigamy
Unlike “crim. con.” bigamy was a serious crime under U.K. law. It was also a problem when, say, your children were supposed to inherit something important, like the crown. If she’d wanted to, Mrs. Fitzherbert could have proved a marriage ceremony took place. There was a certificate (she kept it) and there were witnesses.
If that happened, Prinny would not only be kicked out of the succession, he would lose all his income. Parliament decided how much money the royals all got in any given year, and Parliament was already seething over the cost of Prinny’s lifestyle choices.
Now, if you were a prince at the time, one sure way to get your allowance raised was to get married. But Prinny was married. But he couldn’t admit it, so he couldn’t ask for a divorce, or an annulment (paging Henry VIII!).
His solution? Deny the first marriage and marry again, this time to someone everybody approved of. Which he did. The Prince of Wales officially married Caroline of Brunswick, who became his “unruly queen,” and their mutual, very public, hatred set off a whole set of fresh scandals.
But he did get his allowance raised, so he never had to resort to….
2: Embezzlement
When it came to crushing debts, Prinny was not alone among his brothers. But not all the royal dukes could resort to marriage to get their allowance raised. Frederick, Duke of York (yes, “the grand old Duke of York” from the rhyme), liked fast living and pretty women at least as much as his brothers.
He also liked gambling. This was a very expensive combination. Unfortunately, by the time the debts really mounted up, Frederick was already (legally) married, so that route to raising his allowance was unavailable.
But, Frederick was Commander and Chief of the army. He was also living with a woman named Mary Anne Clarke. Clarke was found to be taking bribes to get people the plum army posts that were Frederick’s to hand out.
Frederick maintained he never knew anything about it. Mary Anne maintained the opposite. So did her famous descendent, Daphne DuMaurier. So did 196 out of 278 members of Parliament when the matter came to trial.
That it went to trial and the vote had to be taken was bad, and it did cause Frederick to resign his post. But at least it wasn’t….
1: Murder
Accusations of murder dogged the royal dukes, and the Prince of Wales. When Caroline of Brunswick (remember her?) dropped dead just days after Prinny was crowned George IV, there were rumors that he’d had her poisoned. Actually, there were more than rumors. There were pamphlets and books, and she even asked that a brass plaque on her coffin be engraved “Here lies the murdered queen.”
Yeah, that didn’t happen. And she probably wasn’t murdered.
But there was a murder, and rumors of more, tightly connected to the man who takes the prize for being the most infamous of this sketchy royal crew. Ernest August, second to youngest of the royal dukes, was so bad that even during his lifetime he got called “the damnable Duke of Cumberland.”
He was a bigot, a bully, interfered with at least one election, and committed multiple sexual assaults, including on his own sister, Sophia. Although he didn’t father her illegitimate child, he was accused of it. He was also accused of attempting to murder Princess Victoria so he could inherit the throne.
This probably isn’t true.
It is true that he did marry a woman who publicly jilted one of his brothers, and that was shortly after the husband she was trying to divorce conveniently dropped dead (sounds a bit like Caroline. Hmmmm….)
But in 1810 it all really hit the fan.
The official story is that Ernest was sleeping, and woken up by repeated blows to the head, which turned out to be from his own sword. He called for his valet, Cornelius Neale, who raised the alarm, and the whole palace went looking for intruders.
No intruders were found. What they did find was the duke’s other valet, Joseph Sellis, in the next room, with his throat cut, according to the witnesses, so deeply, it almost severed his head.
The official verdict was suicide.
Although, funny thing, Neale who was sleeping nearby while the duke was supposedly being attacked by a madman waving a sword, never heard any commotion at all until Ernest shouted.
The duke stayed out of sight for several months after the investigation, saying he was recovering from his wounds.
Hmmm….
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