I was an audiobook failure. Not a failure at writing the books, mind you, but at listening to them. I could never manage to get through more than a chapter or two, and then my interest would fizzle out and I wouldn’t go back. I’d try and fail every time.
For me, there were two big barriers to the format. First, you have to enjoy not only the story, you have to enjoy the narrator and the way they tell it. That’s a huge leap that can leave you flailing for any surface. The narrator is going to read into your ear for six to thirty hours, depending on the length of the book. What if their accent doesn’t fit the story? What if the timbre of their voice reminds you of an ex? What if every word from them is just nails on a chalkboard for no reason at all? Are they too fast? Too slow? Too emotive or reading with all the personality of a voicemail message system? The wrong narrator can make your shoulders tighten and your lip curl.
I was an audiobook failure. Not a failure at writing the books, mind you, but at listening to them.Second, once you discover narrators you love, you may find that a beautiful voice reading into your ear is extreeeemely soothing. Frankly, it reminded me of bedtime and relaxation. That’s not the ideal response when you’re supposed to be cleaning the house, or God forbid, driving. You also take in the story at a much slower speed than if you were silently reading it, your eyes skipping over the occasional preposition to move onto the meat of each sentence. Reading aloud, and reading aloud well? It’s just not a normal book pace.
If you mention this problem to audiobook fans, they will often point out that you can speed up the narration. I won’t recommend that to you. Please see problem number one, and imagine a voicemail menu that’s playing slightly too fast. This wasn’t for me, though I’m glad it works for some!
Despite these issues, I desperately wanted something in my ear. I wanted a story while I was vacuuming or chopping vegetables or driving an hour to my son’s track meet. Then I discovered podcasts. Crime podcasts! Dark and delicious crime podcasts! These were exactly the right bite-sized stories for me, and I devoured them.
I started with the classic and priceless My Favorite Murder, of course. But I needed more. I tried out three or four for every one podcast that I settled on, but that’s the beautiful thing: there’s a flavor for everyone, and thousands of choices. I was soon listening to Criminal, Night Time, This Podcast Will Kill You. Then I graduated to serial stories: Missing & Murdered, Someone Knows Something, Dirty John.
Suddenly, out of the blue, I realized I had acquired a skill for listening. I had trained myself to concentrate on the voice in my ear and pay attention to the tale. I could listen for hours at a time. So I tried audiobooks again. And voilà! I was floating in a beautiful, wonderful world!
If you also have trouble concentrating on audiobooks and you want to change that, here’s my advice:
1.
Start small. Try podcasts and find one you love. There are endless options on every subject you can imagine. (Hint: Every smart phone has a podcast app of some kind.) Or start out with short audiobooks. Think novella-sized or even short stories. Ease into listening with half-hour bites.
2.
Please listen to the audio sample before buying! Make absolutely sure you want this person in your ear. If the voice makes you cringe, move on. Don’t set yourself up for failure. Another option: there are great audiobooks that are performed with different actors for each character. There are even audiobooks that are more like plays, with sound effects and a bit of music. (See below.)
3.
Every genre is not created equal. You may absolutely love reading quiet mysteries but find they’re too cozy for audio. Thrillers may cause too much tension while driving. Personally, I have discovered that I am not great at listening to romance on audiobook, because the point of view is so personal and intimate for me that I can’t have someone else choosing the voices.
* * *
I’ve also found that I love non-fiction, but it has to be great narrative non-fiction or the read can feel like a lecture. I stop paying attention—I’m rebellious that way—and miss whole pages. So sample around a bit. You might wind up loving a genre in audiobook that you don’t like on paper!
Here are some of my favorite audio picks from the last year. I hope you find something here that makes you crave more.
Short:
Proof of Love by Chisa Hutchinson
Very short at 1hr 6mins
Performed as a one-woman play. The acting is riveting and the sound effects are subtle and perfect.
Midnight Son by James Dommek, Jr., Josephine Holtzman, Isaac Kestenbaum
3hrs 23mins
A tragic downfall and true mystery told by an Alaskan Native author with some recorded interviews and commentary.
Body of Proof by Darrell Brown & Sophie Ellis
5hrs 8 mins
Narrated by both authors. This audiobook is told in podcast style as the authors investigate the story of a woman who vanished from an Edinburgh street in 2010.
A Grown-Up Guide to Dinosaurs by Ben Garrod
2hrs 42mins
One narrator with multiple interviews. Perfect if you like to solve scientific mysteries instead of the true crime kind!
Once Upon a Haunted Moor by Harper Fox
2hrs 57 mins
This is a much more traditional mystery style, with a great gothic feel, and the delightful start of an unexpected romance for the narrator.
Longer:
Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
6hrs 31 mins
This dual memoir from the creators of My Favorite Murder is a perfect stepping stone from podcasts! And it includes a surprise appearance by Paul Giamatti.
The Nickel Boys by Colson Whitehead
6hrs 46mins
An amazing piece of fiction based on real events at a violently racist reform school deep inside Florida. Riveting and heartbreaking.
Here Comes the Sun by Nicole Dennis-Benn
11hrs 43mins
This audiobook about the lives of multiple generations of women in a Jamaican family features amazing acting. This was a story I wanted to hear instead of read.
The Lie by William Dameron
8hrs 16mins
A deeply personal story that could only have been narrated by the author. This is a true tale about living a lie and then watching tragic irony unfold as your identity is stolen.
Bad Blood by John Carreyrou
11hrs 37mins
This is a longer book, but every moment is fascinating and it’s over before you’re ready. My favorite kind of narrative non-fiction. It tells the fascinating story of Elizabeth Holmes and the criminal grifting that pumped her start-up company, Theranos, to dangerous heights.
Bitter Falls by Rachel Caine
11hrs 33mins
I don’t want to cheat by throwing the fourth book of a series in here, but here we are. Start with Stillhouse Lake and end here! This is my favorite thriller series of the decade and this book is a perfect example of using different narrators for multiple points-of-view. Your brain has a few different rhythms to enjoy. I love every minute of this audio series.
I hope one of these sparks a new love of audiobooks for you! In fact, I hope you, like me, will find yourself wandering the house looking for chores so you can listen to a few more chapters.
My next audiobook, Problem Child, is out on March 24th.. It’s the second book in the Jane Doe Thriller series, and the narrator, Nicol Zanzarella has received rave reviews for her portrayal of Jane. Happy listening!
