I’m surrounded by cursed objects. Not literally—I’m not one of those famous paranormal investigators/collectors that lock notable cursed objects in their basement to keep the outside world safe and then must warn their children’s friends that coming over to play might expose them to said curses (I’m not making this up…also, my daughter will not be attending that sleepover). While not overly superstitious, I’m just cautious enough to relegate the cursed objects I encounter to the fiction on my bookshelves. Unless of course some aggrieved occult practitioner got their hands on my Magic 8 Ball when I wasn’t looking.
“Magic 8 Ball, are you cursed?”
A quick shake and the answer materializes from that murky black 8 Ball water. “Not likely.”
Not likely but not impossible.
[Walks Magic 8 Ball out to the trash bin]
Okay, I’m back. What were we talking about? Fiction. Stories. Yes! So many wield cursed objects to frighten us with cautionary tales but also to examine the inner thoughts, shortcomings, and fears of the (sometimes unwilling) victims. From cars that turn teen boys’ American dreams into nightmares, to jewelry that’s as fashionable as it is frightening, to the strangest item in my list: a dead man’s suit. While the particular mechanism for smearing bad energy from one possessor (not owner, because who really owns anything but trouble in a cursed object tale?) to another varies, the results remain pretty consistent: chaos.
My latest novel, Ruin Road, traverses territory occupied by each of these great novels. Cade Webster, a big Black boy, wishes that people stop being so scared around him while holding a “replica” Super Bowl ring attained from a creepy pawnshop. The wish comes true, but everyone Cade encounters from that point on loses their fear of not just him, but of everything. Chaos ensues. Cade’s ring is an apt accessory inspired by the choices of all the writers and horrors mentioned here. I can’t wait for you to read it but the authors below set a high bar. Will you like what I’ve done? I’m tempted to ask the Magic 8 Ball sitting on my desk.
Wait…didn’t I…?
Never mind. All’s good here. Let me give my cheesy, handheld oracle a little shake and see what surfaces from that infinitely black water inside.
What could go wrong?
With that in mind, lets get into a few of my favorite cursed objects and the books in which they lurk.
Stephen King, Christine
It’s only right that we start with America’s Boogeyman, Mr. Stephen King himself. When it comes to automotive evil, the first name has to be from the 1983 novel Christine (adapted to film by the one and only John Carpenter in the same year). The 1957 Plymouth Fury draws the affection of pimply faced teen Arnie with his cooler buddy Dennis there to narrate the horror. There are sacrifices related to hamburgers—a reason my mom had a strict no eating policy in her car. Revenge on bullies via vehicular homicide. And the magical means by which Christine repairs herself post murders (given the price of auto insurance I respect this aspect of the curse quite a bit). This is classic obscure occultism where the whys and hows of Christine’s powers are only hinted at, but they’re good guesses, with a creepy denouement. Uncle Stevie couldn’t leave well enough alone, though, so I want to mention King’s other creepy car, the titular vehicle of 2002’s From a Buick 8. While more cosmic than occult, the “Buick” is the burden of a group of state troopers who posit it might be a pressure valve between our world and some vastly stranger dimension. Dangerous curiosity and mysterious disappearances make the Buick a tempting get around vehicle for the macabre among us.
Joe Hill, Heart-Shaped Box
Moving on, but not too far given the authorial lineage, my next cursed object is a dead man’s suit from Joe Hill’s 2007 novel Heart-Shaped Box. Aging rocker Judas Coyne finds a ghost for sale online and jumps at the “opportunity” to own an apparition. When his purchase arrives as a haunted suit packed into a heart-shaped box I probably don’t need to tell you Judas gets way more than he bargained for. Hill’s a fantastic author known for prose that feels both lush and lean. Not surprising given his dad wrote books like Christine and From a Buick 8 (yep!). This book is atmospheric with spot-on pacing that seamlessly takes it from a supernatural siege to a cross-country chase to vanquish the angry spirit. Someone once said “the dead drive fast” but it is Hill’s conceit that they can also dress mighty fine while doing it.
F. Paul Wilson, The Tomb
Speaking of objects that radiate malice while serving looks, there’s the sought after pair of magical necklaces from F. Paul Wilson’s 1984 novel The Tomb. Admittedly those necklaces only account for a tiny bit of what’s happening in this novel as it’s part of an incredibly deep mythology that also introduces Wilson’s most iconic hero, the urban mercenary Repairman Jack. Jack would go on to star in over a dozen novels, but it’s this one where we see him juggling a complicated love affair with his on-again, off-again girlfriend, fighting monsters, and becoming enthralled in a cosmic battle with Wilson’s take on Lovecraftian old ones known as “The Otherness” for the first time. It’s absolutely thrilling stuff and set me on a journey of annual auto-buys as each new Repairman Jack novel hit stores. But, lest we get caught in a realm of eternal torment that would so please the Otherness, let’s escape the 80s for more recent wicked wares.
Scott Leeds, Schrader’s Cord
For your reading and listening pleasure, I will recommend Schrader’s Chord, the 2023 debut novel from Scott Leeds. Schrader is a—long vanished/presumed dead—composer who dabbled in occultism. He created four records that, when played simultaneously (utilizing four different record players activated by four different people to guarantee the sync—thus protecting the vast majority of the streaming generation from the danger here), generate his chord, a sound that opens a gateway between the realms of the living and dead while cursing those who played the records to very specific deaths. Now, I don’t care how you read, but this one sort of demands you go audiobook, don’t you think? Does that sound risky? Maybe. But if you’re not synced up with three friends you’ll be fine. Probably.
Grady Hendrix, How to Sell a Haunted House
Another 2023 novel that’s totally worth your time is Grady Hendrix’s How to Sell a Haunted House. The title may lead you to believe the house is the cursed object here…not so. I won’t spoil what object houses the malignance here, but I will say this book demands you considering the implications of touching certain “holes” and that right there is enough to have you scrutinizing the shadowy recesses of your own home beyond the final page of this frightening tale.
Tananarive Due, The Good House
Since we’re talking houses, the former Realtor in me can’t let you go without showing you the piece of prime real estate that is Tananarive Due’s The Good House. While you may be familiar with Due’s 2023 juggernaut The Reformatory, her 2003 novel about tragic circumstances surrounding protagonist Angela Toussaint’s family home may have slipped under your radar. Correct that; swing by and take a tour. It’s got a great (cursed) foundation. Massive (cursed) square footage. And a fresh coat of (cursed) paint. All offers entertained.
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