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The Soothsayer: Rose Marks
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There were so many sad women in Manhattan. They were educated and successful and desperate. They had MBAs and books on the New York Times Best Seller list and jobs in international finance; they had abusive husbands and drug-addled sons and mothers who were dying. Their daughters were depressed and their boyfriends were leaving them and their bodies were riddled with cancer. What could they do? These women had grown up believing that there was something more out there, something to cling to. And now, as they dragged their aching hearts through the city, something appeared in front of them: a little storefront, all lit up.
The sign on the front read, “Laws of Attraction Guided by Psychic Joyce Michaels, Walk-ins Welcome.” Most customers walked in, paid $50 for a palm reading, and left. But when these sad women walked through the door, the psychic on duty would perk up and come forward.
How can I help you? she’d say. The sad women would pour out their problems. The psychic would listen intently, and would then begin her ritual. I may be able to help you, she’d say, but first, I need a personal item to pray on and meditate. The loan of the personal item was like a trust fall—would the sad woman do it? Did she have the nerve? What about that bracelet, there on your wrist? Oh, it was given to you by your grandmother? Perfect.
The next day, the bracelet would be returned unharmed, and the sad woman would sigh with relief. But the psychic would be waiting with bad news: You’ve been cursed in a previous life. Thus the abusive husband, the cancer, or the dying mother. Then, the good news: I can help you. I’m here to do God’s work, and the work is free. And then the catch: In the course of this work, there are…sacrifices that have to be made.
Sacrifices? Yes, in the ancient days, the removal of a curse this serious would involve human sacrifice, but these days, they weren’t going to slaughter anyone, of course, ha ha. No, these days, the item sacrificed was simply…money. After all, money is the root of all evil, and so it must be cleansed. But once the curse is lifted, the money will be returned unharmed—just like the bracelet. Everything will be wonderful. Everyone will be happy again.
But first—there’s an ATM across the street.
For more about Rose Marks, listen to episode 42 of Criminal Broads.
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