Traditional mysteries are booming! This makes me happy, because “traditional mystery” is my favorite genre.

I thought it might be fun for us all to imagine who we’d be if we were characters in a traditional mystery… a Golden Age style mystery, maybe in a Quaint English Village?

THUSLY, I put together an elaborate series of ledgers so we can all determine our parts.

Let’s go!

 

First, you need a title. This is a British mystery, for goodness’ sake! Everyone in Britain has a title of some kind! Use your birth month to pick the corresponding title.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, we need your first name. Use the hour of your birth to determine that!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, let’s do your last name. First, recall the minute of your birth and look at the corresponding surname:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We’re not done with last names! Is yours hyphenated??? 

Spin this wheel and find out!

If your last name is hyphenated, use this chart to find the second part of your name:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Got your name? Now, what’s your job? Use the first letter of your real first name to find that out:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And now, the final question: are you the murderer?

Spin this wheel and find out!

Put it all together… and welcome to your new identity!

Olivia Rutigliano

Olivia Rutigliano

Olivia Rutigliano is an Editor at Lit Hub and CrimeReads. Her other work appears in Vanity Fair, Vulture, Lapham's Quarterly, AirMail, the Los Angeles Review of Books, Public Books, The Baffler, Bright Wall/Dark Room, Politics/Letters, The Toast, Truly Adventurous, and elsewhere. She has a PhD from the departments of English/comparative literature and theatre at Columbia University, where she was the Marion E. Ponsford fellow. She hosts the podcasst "Culture Schlock" at Lit Hub Radio. She is on instagram at @oldebean, twitter at @oldrutigliano, and bluesky at @oliviarutigliano.bsky.social.