Stalker. The word conjures a threatening image of a shadowy figure lurking…watching…waiting. The picture that comes to one’s mind is typically a trench-coated man wearing dark sunglasses and surreptitiously waiting to strike. So what do you visualize when you hear the title The Wife Stalker? Do you assume the stalker is a man stalking wives? If that is your assumption, you would be wrong. The stalker in this book is female. But it’s an easy mistake to make, because stalking was once represented as a male only sport, and, in fact, studies show that in the past male stalkers outnumbered female stalkers by four to one.
Film and fiction are littered with them—men in search of intimacy with a targeted female with whom they have become obsessed. Some well-known movies that have kept us on the edge of our seats are Fear, Sleeping with the Enemy, and One Hour Photo. In each of these films, the male stalker has a deep-seated need to possess and control the object of his obsession—a woman in the first two films, and an entire family in the last. All these stalkers are so overcome by their all-encompassing need of their victims that they have lost all perspective and rationale. These men terrify and repulse us. And then Joe, from Caroline Kepnes’ book and Netflix series You, came on the scene. He’s charming, good-looking, smart, funny—the perfect boyfriend—if you ignore the fact that he stalks his girlfriends. When Beck walks into the bookstore where Joe works, he immediately becomes obsessed with her. He spies on her from his apartment window using a telescope, gleans information helpful to winning her over by eavesdropping on conversations between her and her friends, and once they become involved, hacks into her phone and computer to keep tabs on her. And occasionally he murders someone who threatens the relationship. Despite knowing what Joe is doing is terribly wrong, it’s impossible at times not to feel a fledgling affection for him, especially as his character develops and we see that he follows a certain moral code—even if it is an ethically skewed one.
Not to be outdone, however, the female stalker made one of her first blockbuster appearances in the 1987 film Fatal Attraction. Female Alex is a mirror image of the male stalker who lives in an alternate reality, invents things about the relationship that don’t exist, can’t cope with rejection and whose obsession with her target takes over her life. Despite being an attractive, successful lawyer, her all-consuming insecurity and sense of emptiness cause her to derail her own life and freedom as she spirals into psychosis.
All these stalkers are so overcome by their all-encompassing need of their victims that they have lost all perspective and rationale.In the 1992 John Lutz novel Single White Female and the subsequent film, the stalking moved from woman targeting man to female targeting female, as Hendra Carlson, a manipulative liar who swings between rage and love, tries to take over the life of her roommate, Allie Jones, with murderous consequences. Initially she wants Allie to be her friend, but ultimately she wants to be Allie, to look like her and have everything Allie has, including her lover.
That same year also saw the release of The Hand That Rocks the Cradle, a female stalker movie with a different bent than Single White Female. In Cradle Claire Bartel accuses her doctor of sexual abuse, instigating a string of accusations by other victims. When Dr. Mott commits suicide, his wife miscarries their child. Mrs. Mott changes her name to Peyton, applies for a job as nanny for Claire’s new baby and begins her plan for revenge. Her obsession is fueled by the misguided belief that she’s on a quest for justice, which allows her to justify her criminal behavior.
The possible pool of victims for female stalkers suddenly increased to include not only male and female targets, but also a wider variety of motivations. Seeking a desire for an intimate relationship with the unwilling object of their attention became just one reason for stalking. These films ushered in new scenarios––the woman who wants her “friend” all to herself as she amps up control over her target; the woman with an envy so deep, she plots to take over another’s life; the woman who promises revenge against a woman she believes has ruined her life.
These themes are furthered explored and expanded upon in a series of books and film from 2017 and 2018. In Lisa Jewel’s 2017 novel, Then She was Gone, a woman’s obsession with a man has her kidnap a teenage girl and impregnate the girl with sperm she’s obtained. She then pretends the baby is her own in the insane illusion that she and the man will share custody of this child and be tied to each other forever.
Michael Robotham puts a bit of a different spin on the pregnancy envy refrain in his 2017 novel The Secrets She Keeps. Not only does Agatha want Meghan’s life, she wants her baby as well and goes to extraordinary measures to secure both. His book is now a six-part series that began airing April 22nd of this year on Australia television.
The film Greta does a pirouette, taking the female stalker in a new and interesting direction. Here we find an older woman who is not seeking a romantic liaison, or someone else’s life, or someone else’s baby. This seemingly kind and lonely widow just wants companionship, and so she connects with a young woman who has recently lost her mother. From there Greta’s obsession with Frankie becomes menacing and terrifying, and we learn that Frankie is just one in a string of girls who Greta has eventually killed when the “friendships” turned sour.
In today’s world of exposing our lives online, we can expect a whole new crop of stalkers. Perhaps now that it’s so easy, it’s hard not to become one.And finally we come to the thing that has made it possible and almost irresistible for every one of us to be silent and undetected stalkers––social media spying and advanced technology. Now it’s easy to click on Instagram and see photos of an ex looking happy with a new love, or meeting someone and checking our their Facebook page to find out more about them. Or how about being in a new relationship and “Google stalking” for information that might give better insight into who they are?
Facebook, Twitter and Instagram have made these kinds of searches seem perfectly normal in a time when there no longer seems to be any privacy. Keza MacDonald, writing in The Guardian, posits that before these social media platforms existed, one would have to follow someone around without being seen to discover the new love interest or somehow get into their house and steal photographs. Now everyone is an open book when they accept a friend or follower, giving them access to everything they’ve ever posted. What if that “friend” or follower turns out later to be dangerous, a stalker?
Perhaps the best depiction of the invasion into someone’s life made possible through social media is the 2017 black comedy/drama Ingrid Goes West. In it, Ingrid, an unstable young woman who is a social media stalker, begins to follow Taylor Sloane on Twitter. Taylor is a social media “Influencer” whose life and style look completely beguiling to Ingrid. Every “like” that she receives from Taylor makes Ingrid believe that they are friends, and soon she moves to Los Angeles to insinuate herself into Taylor’s life with disastrous results.
The lives portrayed on social media that look too be good to be true are just that––too good to be true. But for those who are unable to look past the filters and recognize that no life is perfect, the propensity for envy and jealousy can be overwhelming, as it was for Ingrid. And so, in today’s world of exposing our lives online, we can expect a whole new crop of stalkers. Perhaps now that it’s so easy, it’s hard not to become one.
